the 10 rules i live by. part 2.

Rule #1: Take impeccable care of my body + my mind.

“Every time you eat or drink, you are either feeding disease or fighting it.” 

Heather Morgan, MS, NLC

Rule #2: Never make assumptions.

“If others tell us something we make assumptions, and if they don’t tell us something we make assumptions to fulfill our need to know and to replace the need to communicate. Even if we hear something and we don’t understand we make assumptions about what it means and then believe the assumptions. We make all sorts of assumptions because we don’t have the courage to ask questions.”

Miguel Ruiz

Rule #3: Never break a promise.

“Wherever you go you will find people lying to you, and as your awareness grows, you will notice that you also lie to yourself. Do not expect people to tell you the truth because they also lie to themselves. You have to trust yourself and choose to believe or not to believe what someone says to you.”

Miguel Ruiz

Rule #4: Never play small.

“We have patiently suffered long enough, hoping that someone or some kind of luck would one day grant us more opportunity and happiness. But nothing external can save us, and the fateful hour is at hand when we either become trapped at this level of life or we choose to ascend to a higher plane of consciousness and joy. In this ailing and turbulent world, we must find peace within and become more self-reliant in creating the life we deserve.”

Brendon Burchard

Rule #5: When you know better, do better.

This rule has become increasingly important to me as I have adopted a vegan lifestyle and spent a lot of my free time researching public health, nutrition and the animal agriculture industry. The truth is- for years I have known the cruelty that goes on in factory farms and slaughter houses, I have known how processed and toxic our food is, and ultimately I have seen the obesity, cancer, diabetes, heart disease, hypertension, + digestive problems that plague so many of my friends and family. I have known for a long time how sick the food industry has been making us and our planet- but for all those years I chose to do nothing out of an unwillingness to change for the better.

But from now on, I want to be the change. I don’t want to shy away from my true values and ethics just to fit in with the crowd. When I know better, I want to do better. Period.

Every dollar we spend is like casting a vote on the kind of world we want to live in + ultimately create for our children. We can’t afford to turn a blind eye and assume someone else will make the sacrifice and change the world for the better. It is our human responsibility to do better when we know better, even when it is uncomfortable or inconvenient. We have to power to protect the innocent and safeguard our environment and natural resources. We are powerful + we can change the world.

“The world that you see on the outside, is a reflection of what’s on the inside, so if you see something that you don’t like- check in with your own life.”

“Let It Be Alive” by Tubby Love

Rule #6: Give yourself everything you need + more.

When I started investing my time into mind management and figuring out my anxiety, I learned some very liberating and empowering news- I am able to give myself everything I need just by using my brain.

We all spend so much of our lives unhappy and unfulfilled because we are waiting for someone or something else to validate us, when only we can do that. I know this to be true because I have seen it in action in my own life + others. For example, I have a beautiful friend who deals with insecurities and is always looking to men and relationships to validate her lovability and “good-enoughness”. But the interesting thing is, when she connects with someone who gives her all the compliments, attention and validation in the world, she never believes them. Even though someone else is telling her she is beautiful, talented, funny- all the things, because she doesn’t see her own innate worthiness and lovability- those words ultimately mean nothing and she talks herself out of believing them.

This is why I think it is so important to count on yourself to fill up your own cup. We need to stop expecting others to make us happy and start taking back responsibility for our own emotions and lives. Be your own biggest supporter and cheerleader and allow everything that comes from others to be an added bonus. By giving yourself everything you need, you will free yourself from the bonds of toxic relationships, needless self loathing and comparison. You will be the most influential person in your life- just as it should be.

Bottom line, if you want to feel confident in a new outfit, hype yourself up. If you want your boyfriend to compliment how you look before a date, get in front of the mirror and tell yourself the exact words you want to hear. You need something to do this weekend, make plans with the most important person in your life- you.

“Do you want to meet the love of your life? Look in the mirror.”

Byron Katie

Rule #7: Accept people exactly as they are.

I learned this lesson from my boyfriend. He was the first person that I have ever felt 100% accepted for who I was, 100% of the time. He showed me what a beautiful gift acceptance can be and he inspired me to accept people in my own life. With my family and friends, I always try to follow his example and accept people exactly as they are. And guess what, all of the time they are lovable and worthy humans. Humans worthy of my acceptance, encouragement, support and unconditional love.

When we accept people, we can know them in their truest form and release the toxicity of our own expectations. When I decided to release my expectations of others, I found so much peace with myself. If they are all lovable and worthy all of the time, that means I am too.

Stop trying to change people and instead, gift people space and love on their individual journeys through life. Trying to change someone robs you of the love and happiness available to you right now. People change when they want to change. We all have walked a unique path that has shaped our world view, and I don’t care who you are- we are all the heroes of our own stories. While humanity tries to point the finger at the evil or wrong humans, those very same people in their own lives view themselves as the ones doing the right and just thing. Most people are doing the best they know how and what they feel serves the world. By accepting people and creating space for every perspective, experience and view, I no longer have any need to change people or hate people. All people get to be worthy + lovable, and that is how I want to live my life.

“If we learn to open our hearts, anyone, including the people who drive us crazy, can be our teacher.”

Pema Chodron

Rule #8: Never stop growing + evolving.

Most people who are close to me know that I am always trying to grow and improve different areas of my life. I think personal development is the most addictive drug, because there are no negative side effects and the more you practice it, the better and better you feel. I have completely transformed my life, my mental health, my everything by investing time and energy into myself- and I never want to stop.

I never want to look around and think there is nowhere left to go and nothing left to learn. I never want to stop evolving as a human, because in my life that would be the equivalent of being dead. This is so important to me because I know my own growth always translates into being more for others. When I work to create the maximum amount of value with my life, I get to show up better, love people better + live at the highest level available to me.

We all can learn more, do more and be more everyday- and ultimately I believe this pursuit will allow us to get the most goodness out of this life.

“If you do what you’ve always done, you’ll get what you’ve always gotten.” 

Tony Robbins

Rule #9: Take responsibility for all the results in my life.

In a nut shell, this rule is all about ending blame. No matter what someone did to you or said to you- we always get to chose what we think about all the circumstances of our life. No one else is responsible for what goes on in your brain or the actions your take in your life. No one owes you anything, you earn everything you get in this life. Whenever I share this philosophy- especially with people my age- there is a lot of resistance and think this is because a lot of us have fallen into patterns of blaming others + that allows us to explain away our problems. However, if I am the problem, I also get to be the solution. If someone else is the problem, then I have to control them to get to a solution. I would much rather take responsibility + be empowered to create change in my life.

We can also relieve this victim hood mentality when we adopt the belief that the universe is working for us. I don’t care if you are spiritual or not, believing that things are working for you instead of against you will in no way harm you or the trajectory of your life. If anything it will allow you to bounce back faster and be open to more opportunities. Take responsibility for your life and live from a place of knowing the universe is on your side.

Everyday, I get to live an incredible, abundant life, no matter what my circumstances, because I get to chose what I think about any situation.

“Know this one great truth: you are in control of your own life. You get one and only one chance to live, and life is passing you by. Stop beating yourself up, and dang it, stop letting others do it too. Stop accepting less than you deserve. Stop buying things you can’t afford to impress people you don’t even really like. Stop eating your feelings instead of working through them. Stop buying your kids’ love with food, or toys, or friendship because it’s easier than parenting. Stop abusing your body and your mind. Stop! Just get off the never-ending track.”

Rachel Hollis

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