the 10 rules i live by. part 3.

Rule #1: Take impeccable care of my body + my mind.

“Every time you eat or drink, you are either feeding disease or fighting it.” 

Heather Morgan, MS, NLC

Rule #2: Never make assumptions.

“If others tell us something we make assumptions, and if they don’t tell us something we make assumptions to fulfill our need to know and to replace the need to communicate. Even if we hear something and we don’t understand we make assumptions about what it means and then believe the assumptions. We make all sorts of assumptions because we don’t have the courage to ask questions.”

Miguel Ruiz

Rule #3: Never break a promise.

“Wherever you go you will find people lying to you, and as your awareness grows, you will notice that you also lie to yourself. Do not expect people to tell you the truth because they also lie to themselves. You have to trust yourself and choose to believe or not to believe what someone says to you.”

Miguel Ruiz

Rule #4: Never play small.

“We have patiently suffered long enough, hoping that someone or some kind of luck would one day grant us more opportunity and happiness. But nothing external can save us, and the fateful hour is at hand when we either become trapped at this level of life or we choose to ascend to a higher plane of consciousness and joy. In this ailing and turbulent world, we must find peace within and become more self-reliant in creating the life we deserve.”

Brendon Burchard

Rule #5: When you know better, do better.

“The world that you see on the outside, is a reflection of what’s on the inside, so if you see something that you don’t like- check in with your own life.”

“Let It Be Alive” by Tubby Love

Rule #6: Give yourself everything you need + more.

“Do you want to meet the love of your life? Look in the mirror.”

Byron Katie

Rule #7: Accept people exactly as they are.

“If we learn to open our hearts, anyone, including the people who drive us crazy, can be our teacher.”

Pema Chodron

Rule #8: Never stop growing + evolving.

“If you do what you’ve always done, you’ll get what you’ve always gotten.” 

Tony Robbins

Rule #9: Take responsibility for all the results in my life.

“Know this one great truth: you are in control of your own life. You get one and only one chance to live, and life is passing you by. Stop beating yourself up, and dang it, stop letting others do it too. Stop accepting less than you deserve. Stop buying things you can’t afford to impress people you don’t even really like. Stop eating your feelings instead of working through them. Stop buying your kids’ love with food, or toys, or friendship because it’s easier than parenting. Stop abusing your body and your mind. Stop! Just get off the never-ending track.”

Rachel Hollis

Rule #10: 50/50

Of all the rules I live by, I would say the rule of 50/50 comes as close to encompassing my life philosophy as possible. The rule of 50/50 is a concept I learned about from Master Life Coach, Brooke Castillo, on her podcast The Life Coach School.

The concept of a 50/50 life explains that half of the human experience is going to be filled with negative emotion + the other half positive emotion. Half of the time life will be challenging and negative and the other half will be filled with goodness and positivity.

What this philosophy has done for me is it has taken all the drama out of the negative half of my life. Take this year for example- corona virus, losing my two jobs, moving out of my apartment with my best friends, racial injustices + mass protests, looting and murders in my city of Minneapolis. While this is an overwhelming amount of less than ideal circumstances, because I know my human life, and every other human life, is always going to be 50/50, I no longer concern myself with what is scary or unfair or unknown. The only thing that is certain in any life is that 50% of the time it is going to blow a goat.

There is so much freedom and peace when you drop the expectation that everything in your life doesn’t need to be just as you wish it to be. If you look through history, that has never been the human experience. There is not a single person who hasn’t suffered, and not a single person who has not experienced some love + goodness.

I admit that is a bold statement, but I want to go even further into the idea of the 50/50 life and explain the gray areas within this philosophy. You may be struggling with the idea that half of your life is going to be negative, or may even feel that your life is more like 80/20, with all the icky things going on in the world, but I assure you, you always get to dictate the balance of positive and negative emotion by the thoughts you assign to the events of your life.

All of my own circumstances listed above, would likely be assigned to the negative 50% of life by most people- but there is always another side. Instead of dwelling on the negative, I get to lessen the discomfort of the crappy half of life by choosing thoughts that serve me. Instead of thinking thoughts that make me fearful or resentful, I focus on the abundance and blessings that have come from all of these events. Because of the events of the past few months I get to spend time with my family, I get to enjoy more time outside, I get to save money instead of spending it on rent, I’ve had time to read books, educate myself on topics I am interested in, during the quarantine I made incredible strides in creating a maintainable, healthy lifestyle for myself, I have worked on design ideas that I have shelved for months- at the end of the day, no matter what this life throws at me, I am blessed beyond measure. There is always good in every situation + I purpose to find that good and get the most out of my 50/50 human life.

Rule 10 is all about living your life knowing half of the time it will be negative. Expect those challenges to come up, embrace them and accept them as intended parts of the human experience. When things go wrong, your life isn’t going wrong. Living out the good + the bad is your human life, but you get to chose what side of life to focus on. Where the mind goes, energy flows. When you spend more time relishing in the positive half of life you will open up so many avenues for goodness + abundance. Accept what is, focus your energy on the good + go enjoy your one shot at this 50/50 life.

“Some changes look negative on the surface but you will soon realize that space is being created in your life for something new to emerge.”

Eckhart Tolle

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